3.5.06
1:41 PM
humility??!!
Yaknow,
I auditioned to dance for Influencers Conference. Gracie and i did 'I Could be The One'...
The person auditioning us, told us that we were really good and blabla...
In my head, i was pretty confident that i would make it into the top 10 dancers. ofcourse,i never did say it aloud because i didnt wanna get my hopes too high.
So as days went by, i was told that i did not make it into the top 10 ,and at first it didnt really bother me. I was just happy that i was gonna be dancing for Influencers.. really..
But as i went for practices, i was sooo unhappy. I would cry and be really moody about it.
It was really really tough going for practices.
One night at practice,i smsd my mum telling her that this was so hard and that i didnt wanna do it anymore. Told her i did NOT wanna stand at the back of everyone for 1 minute of the dance and clap my hands. thats pretty much all i did.. Clap my hands...
It was so so so tough to do that.
For those of you who know me,u'll know that i have major pride and ego problem!!
yes senor???!! ;) ;)
When i told mum that, she said "it will be alot easier if you did this because you love GOd"...
That just really got me thinking..
Bieng in YC and all that. I realised that i have forgotten why i serve God. Why it was so hard for me to stand at the back,not noticed and do my thing.
Seriously... i want to serve God because i love Him.. because whtever little bit of talent i have is because of Him.
After that night,i kept reminding myself that i was doing this because i love Him.. because i love Him.. and it got easier. I was able to smile while dancing and stuff. Ofcourse it wasnt easy. I didnt just tell myself once and wooo hoooo..i was happy doing it.. no....But as i kept reminding myself and just praying about it..it DID get easier..
Its soooo easy to be in the fore-front ministry. where evryone can see us.
I honestly thank God tht He put me in that position. Because if He didnt,i wouldnt have realised how 'blinded' ive become!!!!!!!!!
Sheen said this the other day... "its about standing in the corner for years"...
If we're faithful in the littlest things, God will bring the big things our way...
easier said ofcourse... But its the only way!!! :)
-END-
niCcima
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